Salam, R.

Congratulations and welcome to Islam! Apparently you have only started to wear hijab less than a year ago, as it sounds as if this is your first summer in hijab. May Allah guide my words to you and also guide you to have the strong faith to obey Him.

To build up your faith you should be careful to perform your five daily Prayers on time each day. Also, if you are not yet in the habit of doing so, make it your habit to pray the Sunnah Prayers along with the obligatory ones.

Try to increase the amount of time you spend praying or reading the Quran every day. Whenever things get difficult for you, whatever you do, never give up the obligatory acts of worship. Some people actually pray less when they face hardship, when they should be praying more at such times.

Also spend some time each day reading about and contemplating on the lives of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his Companions. Remember the suffering they endured at the hands of the polytheists of Makkah and compare that to the stares or insults you might get when you wear hijab. You will soon realize that your problem is miniscule.

I think it also helps to think of your hijab as a badge that you wear proudly. Never be ashamed of or apologetic for it. This is easier if you already have a strong character so that you don't worry about what other people think of you. (I must admit that, for myself, one of the things that made hijab easier was that I liked to show off a bit, to be different.) Remember that your purpose in life is to please your Creator and Lord, not others.

I can remember once when I had just started to wear hijab a few weeks earlier—this is more than twenty-seven years ago—I saw my reflection in a shop window as I passed, and I felt so proud to be dressed that way, so proud to show the world that I was Muslim, that I was willing to wear my faith "on my sleeve" (pardon the pun). Think of your hijab as a beacon for others—but also remember that you are to set an example in your other behavior.

That leads then to your other question: how to respond to insults. In all my years of wearing hijab, I think I have been insulted only five times—once by a drunk and once by a group of giddy teens, so I barely count those incidences. I haven't been back to a Western country since September 11, so I'm not sure how things would go now. Some sisters tell me they get insulted and spat upon when they go to Europe to visit their families.

We know that the Prophet bore all such insults patiently, so that is how we should react. Don't lose your temper. Sometimes people are just trying to make you angry so they will have an excuse to say "Look what that Muslim did!" Either ignore them completely or reply calmly. Try countering with "May God bless you and guide you" or something of the sort! Remember that the Quran instructs us with words that mean:

[A good action and a bad action are not the same. Requite the bad with something better and, if there is enmity between you and someone else, he will become like a bosom friend. None will attain this attribute save those who are truly steadfast. None will attain it save those who have great good fortune.] (Fussilat 41:34-35)

I once read an account of a sister who was insulted and turned to the person (another woman) and calmly said, "I think you have some of your information wrong. Can I buy you a cup of coffee and we can sit and talk about this?" I'm not recommending such an approach for everyone—especially if one is not very knowledgeable—but it certainly would catch the insulter off-guard.

If you find yourself regularly insulted by the same people, such as neighbors or colleagues, you might consider such a gesture. Invite them to sit calmly over refreshments and then give them correct information. Perhaps you can have some booklets on Islam ready to give them.

I hope this advice has helped you, sister. May Allah keep your faith strong. If you have any more questions, please contact us.

Salam.

Useful Links:

An Islamic Summer for the Youth

"Aren't You Hot in That?"

First Summer as a Muslim Woman

Hijab and Sports

When Faith is Shaken…

Patience of Believers