Before getting married, I was pregnant with my baby but her father was mad at me. When he knew about it he told me: "I am not ready to be a father, you have to abort the baby!! (hard words for a young woman).
I told him: "I don't care if you don't want the baby, but I will never kill a little person only because you want to. So, I will be a single mother but you will have responsibilities towards the baby." And I left him…
I couldn't ignore the fact that my stomach would grow up... So after one month he came to me and told me: "I am so sorry for what I said, I was thinking that we have to get married, and I told him: "No thanks, I am sorry but I don't want you, you don't love me and you don't love your own baby."
But he talked with my parents and my parents decided that it was better for me to get married to him. With all my respect to the people, BAD IDEA.
Our wedding day was terrible, he was angry with me all the ceremony and party. I don't know why he wanted to marry me if he didn't want to. I did all that was possible to have a good relationship with him, but he never accepted me. He knocked me 3 times during my pregnancy and the last time I was really sick and my baby was born before time.
When the baby was born, he was a little nice to her but not to me. Sometimes it is impossible to believe it but really many women in the world are treated badly by their husbands and I was ONE OF THEM.
When my baby was 6 months, he never went with me to the doctor's appointment again. It was hard, the capital city is bad as you could find bad people. I took a bus in my city and travelled.
In the capital city I took another bus to go to the clinic, many times I had panic for my baby, but every time I repeated in my mind: God is with me, God is with me, God is with me.
I was Christian at that time of course, as is the majority of the people in Guatemala. Some months after that my husband was sick and went to the hospital for 15 days. I made my best to care for him, but my life was like hell.
| I lived bad moments to obtain happiness and mercy from Allah, Allahu Akbar. |
You don't have any idea how many times I received calls from women asking for him, that hurted me so much. But thanks to a friend that told me: "You are young, you only have one baby, you have to leave him, you have to stop him;" I decided to leave him.
Being alone in my depression I wanted to die. One day at night I was sitting down on the floor ready to kill myself, I was alone with my baby and was thinking WHY ME GOD, WHY ME…
In a moment, my baby surprised me when she put her little hand on my shoulder and gave me a kiss. I quickly opened my mind and cried so much because I was sure that God was talking to me at that moment.
All the time I asked myself WHY this happened to me? After I accepted Islam in my life and learned about the religion and life style of Islam, I understood: I lived bad moments to obtain happiness and mercy from Allah, Allahu Akbar.
I am Muslima since June 10, 2007 and since that day I am trying to make everything in my life better than my past. I don't like to talk about my past because it's sad, empty and bad but sometimes I need to reveal my history to the persons who want to know about my religion and why I accepted Islam... I love to talk about my present because it's the time that I'm living and enjoying.
In the days before my conversion, I had been studying and learning so much about Islam and I had the opportunity to share this information with new friends that want to be Muslimas, alhamdulillah.
But this is not all, because I had been receiving many gifts from Allah. Could you imagine if I shared this information about our religion, I will be rich with the pleasure and love and mercy and grace from Allah, Allahu Akbar.
Never has somebody told me: "I am proud to be your friend." Never, and in those days many people from other countries said this to me, How could not I BE a PROUD MUSLIMA???
I never had friends before because I was never like them. I was always different in all ways from them and when I found Islam, I felt that during my entire life I was Muslima. And the most wonderful thing is that many persons think that I am Muslima since a long time, is this causality??? I don't think so.
How did I know about Islam??? Like many girls around the world, through a boy on the net. I knew him and he wanted to marry me, but he told me: "If you marry me you will have to accept my religion."
I asked: "What is your religion?" And he said: "Islam." (I didn't know about it). He told me: "I am Muslim and Islam is my religion."
I said: "WHAT!" Of course in those days the only information that I had about Muslims was: They are terrorists. So, I tried to leave him because I told myself, I will never be a terrorist (Allah forgive me for that).
But with time, I knew more people from other countries that also told me: "I am Muslim, my religion is Islam." And I was more interested about it and always when I had a chance I always ask about Islam and Muslim people.
One day one friend from Palestine sent me an invitation to enter in Muslimspace.com. But, I was afraid of this site because I was still thinking 'maybe they are terrorist.' Because I didn't understand clearly about Islam, One day I was sitting free with nothing to do so I decided to open this site and I made my blog in there.
Many weeks after entering the site, I knew a Muslim girl from my own country, I was excited to know her because who else would be more able to explain Islam and what it entails than a girl coming from my own culture and speaking the same language? Only her, hehehe.
But, I have to say that I still had a bad idea about Islam so I kept telling myself 'maybe she is terrorist too.' And so I refused the first invitation to know her and know the mosque in my country.
At that time, some of my friends knew that I was interested in Islam but I thought that nobody believed that I was serious about it. so one Saturday I accepted the invitation of my new friend and I went to the capital city to know her and to visit the mosque…
Surprise… Surprise, when I entered the mosque for the first time… I felt a BIG PEACE inside me. I don't know why. At that night I was in the Muslimas' class and they were all really cool with me without knowing me. The next day I said my Shahada, alhamdulillah.
When my family knew that I am Muslima, I had many problems, especially with my mom, because she thought that I will be a human bomb, a killer or a terrorist. My sweet mom doesn't understand the truth, because she closes her heart when I try to tell her the truth about Islam.
Some friends call my mom a disbeliever. It's a hard word to call the person who gave me life but I have to accept that only Allah will open her heart to the ONLY TRUE RELIGION.
You have to know me and you will know that I am a new miracle in this world ALHAMDULILLAH, because Allah gave me a second opportunity to have a better life in His Way and because now I am engaged with a man from Egypt who loves me so much and also loves my baby girl.
The most beautiful thing about his family is that His Sweet Mom is learning Spanish to be able to talk with me and my baby…
All my way to Islam began through knowing a man from Egypt and since then my life has completely changed with my marriage from an Egyptian man. Isn't it strange, right? Only Allah Knows Why.
